Today I had to drop something off to my mom right before they rushed off to Utah for Thanksgiving. "Are you sure you don't want to come?" she asked. I replied that we are fine and looking forward to spending the holiday with just the 4 of us, our own little family (except for dinner when we meet up with Shantel's little family).
As I drove away I thought about my first Thanksgiving away from my family. It was our first year of marriage; that in itself was a ROUGH time, but then we were to be with Jer's family for Thanksgiving. Yes, we would in turn be with my family for Christmas, but I couldn't look that far. It was Thanksgiving Eve and I had just finished talking to my mom on the phone. My brother and his family were there with them - can't remember if they were in San Diego or St. George. I remember hanging up my cell phone as I drove down the road and crying about how I would not be with my family on Thanksgiving. How would I survive without them? Who would I shop with on Black Friday? Basically, I was having a pity party, but guess what? I did survive! And I have survived other years since then away from my family. And somehow now this year, with no family around, I am okay with it. Time changes things. It changes perspective. Jer's family has become my family too. And whether we are with his family, my family or no family, it will be okay.
Ten years ago this weekend, Jer and I were introduced to one another through a mutual friend. We have been married for almost 7 years. Time has healed much in our marriage. Maybe for some people marriage is easy, but for us it has been hard. We are the first to admit that we are both extremely stubborn and selfish. To this day we still have to work hard everyday to keep our marriage alive. With the passing time, it does get easier. We repent, forgive, accept and love one another more each day.
Two years ago (from next week) we were matched with a birthmom due in January. We flew to Utah to meet her. We were ecstatic about bringing a new baby boy home to our family. On December 21, she went into labor early and we rushed to get on the next flight to Salt Lake. I spent all of the next day loving that new baby boy. Jer flew in on a late night flight and got to see the bundle of joy for a short time that night. Early the next morning we received a phone call from our agency case worker. The birthmom had changed her mind. She was going to parent this child. It was such a hard day. There were also hard days that followed. It wasn't until Kenyon came to our family in April that we truly felt that this baby was not ours. Time healed and although there are days I wonder how this little guy is doing, I have moved on.
Times heals wounds and for that, I am grateful.
Hope you have a very Happy Thanksgiving!
6 years ago
4 comments:
Adoption seems like such an emotional rollercoaster! Time does heal all and in hind sight having Kenyon might not have happened if that other baby worked out. The Lord definitely has a plan for us. Loved your lights by the way. glad we could meet up at the park, I need to do that more often it always makes me so much more happy, sometimes I get so caught up in my pity party I throw for myself every night I forget that there are many things that can make me happy!
You guys are AWESOME parents and who knows.................... you're doing such a great job with these children.. you just might get some more out of the blue some day!!!! or NOT !!!! lol
That was a great post - all of them were great. And I truly agree - time is amazing. Sometimes I hate it. Sometimes I love it. But I am grateful for it either way. Hope you have a great Thanksgiving, too!
Happy late Thanksgiving! I hope you had a nice, low-key day! I completely agree with the being away from family hardship and that marriage is never easy! Whomever says that it's easy is just in denial or they aren't married to someone as stubborn as me or my husband. :) Loved your posts and your honesty!
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