Just a typical day...

He makes a big mess

Then I tell him no

Yeah right - Who am I kidding?! You think I can tell those big, brown eyes no!

Another Amazing Weekend

Yet another amazing weekend was just had! My friend Kiara put together a group called Arizona Transracial Adoptive Families several years ago. We are an online Yahoo group, but also meet together for playdates, family activities, Mom's nights out, book clubs, etc. I help moderate the group, plan activities, and help out wherever else needed. It is such a great group!

So this weekend we had the opportunity to bring in Rhonda Roorda to speak to our group. Who is Rhonda? She is co-author of the books “In Their Own Voices: Transracial Adoptees Tell Their Stories” and “In Their Parents Voices: Reflections on Raising Transracial Adoptees.” Her first book tells the stories of twenty-four black and biracial children who were adopted into white families in the late 1960’s and 70’s. Through In Their Parents’ Voices, we now hear from the parents of these remarkable individuals and learn what it was like for them to raise children across racial and cultural lines. Their candid interviews shed light on the issues these parents encountered, what part race played during their thirty plus years of parenting, and what they learned about themselves along the way.

Amazing! She is one of the adoptees - African American woman adopted into a Dutch family at the age of 2 years old. It was incredible to be able to hear her speak at a workshop on Saturday where she shared her own experience growing up in a white family and then we were able to go to dinner with her on Sunday night with 7 other adoptive parents. That was such a blessing to be able to sit across the table from her and ask her questions about our personal situation, as well as hear her advice to other parents at the table. Side note - she is good friends with Oprah! Oh and I now have her email address amd phone number so I can use her for issues we face down the road - such a valuable resource to have! (I am thinking she is going to be Maya's mentor :)

I know there probably aren't many transracial adoptive parents that read my blog, but I must share some things that really spoke to me and maybe they will help someone else.

She talked about the struggle adoptees face to honor family but they in turn self sacrifice. For example, she wanted to talk to her parents about race issues, but she didn't want to hurt them so she kept it inside. It really got me thinking about the whole concept of "honoring family" and how we can deal with that. No solutions, just thoughts! :) I think the key is to make sure your children feel comfortable talking to you - never afraid to talk about tough stuff!

She said something along the lines of how we can't adopt transracially because "it is a dream" and how if that is what we are in it for, we will give up when it gets hard. It has to be more than a dream! She went on to say how if you have a deaf child, you do all you can to research how to succesfully raise a deaf child - learn sign language, read books, find deafs schools, etc. Effective transracial parenting requires that same drive and dedication.

She also shared a story of how her African American husband came to a workshop with her and there was an AA boy who was out of control. After they left, he said, "That boy will be in yuvenile detention within 2 years. You can't be black in this nation ad be out of control." Oh that got me thinking about parenting. Maya is a little out of control at times... Please, please, please may Kenyon be more in control. LOL! All kidding aside, she really talked about how black men in particular have to live a higher standard, a "look above approach" she called it. They can't speed at all or they will get pulled over. Her husband can't rush to Home Depot in the middle of a project in his grubbies. He has to stop, shower and get ready, put on some nicer clothes, etc. Wow - so much pressure on these men!

Another topic that was brought up was looking at your own prejudices. She shared a story of a family that had adopted transracially and the mother was constantly putting down Mexicans in front of her African American/Mexican son. As a teen, he was acting out and it came out that a big reason was because of his mother putting down his race. Maya is both African American and Mexican. There are times people are putting down Mexicans in front of us. We can't stand for it!

Okay, okay, I know I am on my soapbox. I love our transracial family! It is tough work, but worth every dirty look, comment or stare. I feel so blessed to be a part of a network of people that feel the same and to be able to go through this journey together!

Oh and I meant to post this early this morning, but I didn't finish it. If you by chance watched the Pat McMahon show on TV at 9:00 am, you saw Rhonda on there. I had a friend DVR it so I can't wait to check it out!

Hawaii Countdown

We leave for Maui in a couple of weeks. I just got off of the phone with the concierge who booked some golf, massages, whale watching, snorkeling, and a luau. I can't wait!

Pictures

As promised, here are some pics from the weekend.

Could I get a cheesier grin??!! For the record, I was tickling my kids to get them to smile so I am saying, "tickle, tickle" while smiling :).

Too cute!

Nana and Grandpa with the kids

Grandma and Grandpa with the kids

Auburn and Maya

Enjoying his quesadilla
Chris and Rowdy cooking up some tortillas - look at all of those crockpots!
Another view of the food
And the dessert

Our Wonderful, Amazing, Incredible Weekend

Well it is almost over, but I want to bask in it just a little longer. It was truly an incredible weekend. Saturday was Kenyon's sealing at the Mesa Temple. As we walked into the temple, Maya turned to me and asked, "Mom, are we in Heavenly Father's House?" She knew! How could you not know when it is so completely beautiful, yet even more beautiful to be there with my amazing children. They were little angels the entire time. It was as if I needed to keep pinching myself to believe that we were actually there - together - an eternal family! We are so blessed!

Then today we had Kenyon's blessing at our home followed by a dinner with family and friends. The food - it was remarkable! We had Costa Vida meat, dressing and little tortilla crispies. Then we supplied the rest of the fix-ins for salads, burritos, tacos, or whatever they wanted to create. My neighbor (and new fellow blogger) Kyle, provided some fantastic salsa. Chris and Rowdy were some mean tortilla makers. My mom made some delicious Texas sheet cake. Auburn took some amazing photos (of course) and so many others brought food and helped with the setup and cleanup. Family and friends traveled from Utah for the event. Thank you to everyone! I am overwhelmed by the love and support that we have felt throughout Kenyon's entire adoption process. There were times I never thought we would see this day and now I am off to bask a little longer.

Pics to come very soon!

Props to Jeremy

My sweetheart pulled through! Jer came home from work early and sent me out shopping and to get a pedicure. Then when I came home, the house was clean, children were fed and he was greeting me with a smile (unlike the usual "they are yours" type comments after spending hours with the little terrors). Now we are going to eat chocolate covered strawberries and watch a chick flick.

I love him!

The Day of Love

It is here - the day of love. Although, I am not feeling very loving today. Kenyon kept me up much of the night. I took him to the doctor today and he has an ear infection. As Jer was leaving for work at 6:00 am, both kids were yelling for me in their rooms. He made some comment about how my morning wasn't looking good and escaped out the door as fast as he could. At least they sure look cute in their Valentine's shirts from Grandma Bev!

We are very excited for Jeremy's family to fly in tonight and my grandparents and aunt and uncle are coming tomorrow night. We are finishing last minute preparations for Kenyon's big weekend (sealing and blessing), so to celebrate Valentine's tonight we are headed to Costco. We will probably eat some hot dogs and pizza before coming home to put the kids to bed :). Happy Valentine's Day!

Snow in Arizona

There is a first time for everything. This weekend was our first trip to the Arizona mountains in the winter. Our friends, Kyle and Benson, invited us to her parents' cabin in Show Low, AZ. We had the best time! Maya just loves their kids, Sammy, Ben and Nathan, and we all get along great. We don't even own snow clothes so we had to dash around to some stores on Friday and make do with what we had. Here are some pics highlighting our fun in the snow.

Guess who loved it the most?! Kenyon! I thought for sure him and I would spend most of the time indoors, but he loved to crawl around in it and sled down the hill.

Right before take-off
Having so much fun!
Taking time out for a bite of snow

She really liked sliding down without a sled

Is 10 months too young to sled alone? :)

Making the trek back up the hill

Ben and Maya on a quest to unbury the lawn chairs

Our snow family (which Kenyon and I didn't help make since he was napping so we can't take credit - didn't they do a great job?!)

There were crashes - Kenyon after his (for the record, he wasn't even really crying)

Maya after hers - bruise and cut on her cheek (and she was crying)

Thanks Benson, Kyle and family for a great weekend. We loved it!!

Pay it Forward

I recently won a "pay it forward" contest off another blog and part of the rules were to keep it going. As one of the winners I have promised that I will "pay it foward" with my own handmade gift! All you have to do is add a comment and in a few days I will use a random number generator {random.org} to pick three lucky people that I will mail/deliver something fun to! If you win, the only thing you have to do in return, is to keep this going by making the same promise to 3 other people on your blog! It should be fun! If you want to participate, just leave me a comment. I will pick the winner one week from today. Good luck and "pay it forward"!

My Super Smart 3 Year Old (and I am not vain :)

Okay, I know she just turned 3 on Sunday, but I decided it was time to teach her to read. I have had this book since my school teaching days and always said I would use it on my own kids. So I gave it a shot. In just 2 days, she can already read "am" and "sa." So tonight after we tucked her in bed, we heard her on the monitor saying, "Watch my finger. Mmmm. Watch my finger. Sssss." She has my lingo down. Oh and now she calls me "Teacher Mommy."

Rest of the Weekend

I never got to write more about the rest of our weekend. Maria's visit went well. There were times it was hard for her, but overall, the trip was a success. We loved seeing her and her kids. My favorite part of the trip was each night when we would turn on music and watch the kids dancing around. Her kids knew every word to Alicia Keys' "No One" song and would sing it for us. I loved that! On Saturday night we had dinner at my parents' house. Andre was playing with their little kid Home Depot tools and my dad saw how much he was loving them. So he got out some real tools and let him use them. He was in heaven! The next day he kept asking when he could go back to Maya's Grandpa's house.

As they were packing up, here was a conversation I overheard with Maya and Andre:

Andre: We are leaving today.
Maya: No!
Andre: Why?
Maya: I don't want you to leave.
Andre: Too bad, but that was really nice of you to say that.

I thought that was so cute!

After they left on Sunday, we had a fabulous Super Bowl Party at my parents' house with some friends.

Now I am just getting all geared up for the next guests to come into town for Kenyon's blessing and sealing in a week and a half. Maya can hardly wait for her Nana, Grandpa and Tiff to come!!

Here are some recent pics to check out!

At our neighborhood park

Maya rocking out on her new guitar Alexa gave her for her birthday

Working hard!

Andre loved to wrestle Kenyon and Kenyon would just laugh and laugh

Group shot before they left

Happy Birthday Maya!

Dear Maya,

Wow - you are 3! It seems like just yesterday we first laid eyes on you when you were just a couple hours old. Such a beautiful baby and now you have grown into a beautiful girl. There is not a day that goes by that you don't make us smile. You have such a fun, outgoing personality that laughter follows you wherever you go.

This past year has been one full of many new adventures and changes. A new baby joined our family and completely turned your "I am the only child" world upside down. Then came potty training along with moving to a big girl bed. You sure took all of the changes in stride! We also took some really fun vacations this year to California and you still ask to go to California almost daily.

Some of my favorite things about you right now are the way you yell. "Mom, come find me" when you wake up in the morning or from your nap. You are always hiding under your blankets, but I love to come find you and then smother you in kisses. Another favorite is when you are riding in your car seat and having a conversation with yourself. It makes us laugh really hard! I also love the time I spend doing your hair. It is so much fun to have that quality time together. Finally, we love to listen to you singing and talking to your "friends" (stuffed animals that you sleep with and call your friends) when you are falling asleep at night. You are one creative chick!

You are a great sister to Kenyon. He loves it when you tackle him to the ground and give him loves. You put up with him pulling your hair and trying to eat your beads. Just recently he is really starting to invade your space and you are not liking it. You tried pushing him down, but then you felt really bad for making him cry so now you yell, "Mom, Dad, can you come move him?" You call him "boy" or "bud" in such a cute baby voice that he loves. We can't get enough of watching you 2 together.

What a privilege it is to be your parents! We are so lucky to have you in our family. Thanks for being you!

Love,
Dad and Mom

Maya's Birthday Party

We had Maya's party at Bounce U. It is a really fun, indoor play place with a bunch of bounce houses and slides. I think everyone had a blast!