Jer took Kenyon to Home Depot with him yesterday. It is not often for Jer to take the kids out alone so he is not as used to fielding questions and comments from onlookers about our family. However, when recently asked if Maya and Kenyon were brother and sister - he replied "yes" and moved on. Way to go!
Back to Home Depot - Kenyon ran up to a man sitting at a table with balloons yelling, "BOON, BOON, BOON!" The man turned to Jer and asked if he was his dad. Then he asked, "What is he?" I would have answered "a boy," "a child of God" or something less informative, but Jer went ahead and answered, "Biracial - half black, half white." The man replied that he was also biracial. They had a brief conversation and as Jeremy walked away, the man said, "Times are changin'."
I have thought about this incident Jeremy shared with me. Times ARE changing and it is my hope and desire that people are becoming more and more accepting of our "different" family. That said, I know there are others that don't approve of our transracial family. Others that will be hurtful to my children. Am I preparing them to deal with this negativity that will be thrown at them? I sure hope so! For now, I take it one step at a time, teaching them about differences, feelings, that they are a daughter/son of God, a God who had a plan for them to be in our family and finally, that we are a family - though we don't look alike, we are a tight family that loves, embraces, and supports one another, even if the world around us doesn't view us as such.
We will be fine.
13 comments:
Beautiful.
You all are amazing! You have a wonderfulway with your kids, you're very grounded and most of all I appreciate your honesty and transparency. As you might remember I too have asked questions about your family and you answered all of them without making me feel silly for asking. I'm sure it gets old to have to address the same questions over and over but please remember you are providing a wonderful opportunity to enlighten people. Because, quite frankly things need to change some times.
All I have to say is aren't some people just so stupid (the ones who would look down on you or make fun of your kids I mean)?!?! If I were to see any cute, happy, smiling, content child with a parent..regardless of being white, black, blue, orange, purple..what have you..I would think "wow, what a cute kid and what a happy family!" Your children are SO lucky to have you and even though I don't see the daily struggles you face, you are so strong, honest, and respectful of the fact that some people will have questions. You and Jeremy are wonderful parents with sweet, intelligent, beautiful children and that is all that matters! :)
Brit-
Your kids are beautiful, and your family is beautiful. I am sorry that you guys deal with those difficult situataions. Mya and Kenyon are so blessed to have been brought into your family. We love you guys and miss you!
I actually thought of you guys yesterday in our Young Women Lesson. We were learning about The worlds standards versus the church standards and we were talking about abortions and adoptions ect. I thought of you because you have brought a family together that I think God intended to have together. The girls were saying what about abortions of people who could not take care of the children? Well you are a PERFECT example of the church standards of loving family's. I have never thought Of your family as "different" because as I see it you are the PERFET family!!! We love your FAMILY!!!
I have never even once "questioned" anything about your family because you belong together! That's all there is to it and you can see it and feel it when you are around each other. It's just CRAZY to me that people even have issues with this. My mind can't even understand it. You are GREAT parents. You gave me my first real lessons in parenting when Lucy was born. I will ALWAYS remember how you treated Maya, how you helped me with Lucy. It was very powerful for me.
Your family is nothing but normal and it is always so funny how inquisitive people are and even the older ones! You guys are such strong people and are made to handle this the right way so people can understand the greatness of it all. Way to go Jeremy for that undertaking with the babe, I always think Curt is crazy when he goes out anywhere with Jacks as I know (and you know for that matter) how "fun" Jacks can be.haha
random- who did your family pic? it's great! :)
Your family fits together perfectly and you were so meant to be together! I am always so impressed by your parenting. You are so strong and you are raising strong children! You will all be able to defeat any challenge that ever comes your way.
I love your little family!
Oh my gosh Brit! You make me teary eyed. I laughed at your reply (a boy- I love that) then I cried. You really made me think. 1, I realized that I have never ever thought of your family as different and I really understood what where you're coming from. Although our situation being different, it made me think how people can be so mean. Jade having a step dad and calling him dad seems so out there to some. When all I see is a very lucky little girl who has 2 men that love her to death. I know at times it can be hard on her, but I always remind her what a good family life she has and she has 2 of the best daddy's out there. Not to mention that Harley has an awesome uncle John who loves him.
That man asking Jer if Maya and Kenyon are brother and sister is the same as asking if Jade and Harley are brother and sister. HELLO! They are! We never say things like 'hey Jade, go see what your "half brother" is doing'.. I mean really! Life is tough as it is, I don't understand why some people separate us and make things harder.
Thank you for sharing.
I love you to death!
I am surprised the man asked "what is he?" What kind of a retarded question is that?! Weird.
Thank you for reminding me to teach my kids that a person's value does not relate to their color of skin, gender, race, etc.
Good job to Jeremy for fielding the questions so well.
Brit~ You made me teary my friend. You are such a strong woman, have a great hubby, and THE most precious things anyone could ever ask for, those beautiful children. And no matter what the world thinks or says, you have the strongest foundation... Love for one another, your faith, and knowing you have a great support for eachother, your sweet family could face anything. I admire you for all that you are and how you teach your beautiful kiddos!!
Love ya Brit~
It does get harder but i promise you that others will see how strong your family is and some will actually wonder why their family isn't so strong or close or as amazing and they will never know the difference! Some people just dont "get it" and it boggles my mind still by the questions AJ and I get. It gets to a point where ya just laugh at the ignorant things people say and feel sorry for them they think like that :) My family is the perfect example of that! You and Jeremy are such great parents that I can't wait to see to how your family will help change others! I just love you guys!!!! oh and speaking of my family. . .my family is coming down with the Archibalds over presidents day weekend! We are trying to come with them!!!! I hope we have some time off school for that cuz I am just dying to see you guys! love you guys! Tell Mya I say hi!! (sorry for the x-tra long comment)
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