Owning Your Problems

I am taking a Love and Logic Parenting class on Thursday nights. Last week's lesson was on "Ownership of the problem." "A child who knows his problems are the concern of another, concerns himself with none of his problems," says Jim Fay (Love and Logic guru).

This really hit home with me and my little Kenyon. He lives a very carefree life and I suddenly realized how he doesn't have to worry about much because I am worrying for him. I spent lots and lots of time this week kindly "giving" him back his problems and trying (emphasize TRYING) to not let him see me worrying about them.

So after a pretty successful week, I was able to go volunteer in his class at school today. I was there first thing in the morning as all of the kids were walking into class. They would each take out their homework folder and put their homework and behavior calendars in a basket at the back of the room. I noticed Kenyon instead wandered over to check out the classroom pet gecko and then slowly meandered to his desk. At this point his teacher came back to give me my instructions. Thankfully I know and love his teacher who also taught Maya. I said, "Kenyon didn't turn in his homework/calendar." She replied that he never does and the helpers always have to go get it.

"Hmmm," I thought.

So I strolled over to him and whispered, "Kenyon, where is your homework and calendar?"

Kenyon replied, "In my backpack."

I asked, "Why didn't you turn it in?"

"The helpers always get it out for me," he stated.

And that's when I realized how true this all is - he is a smart kid who has figured it out. At home, mom takes care of everything and at school, his personal assistants/helpers do.

(Picture taken after the boys' recent haircuts)